Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Day 3

Two posts in a day should count as work, shouldn't it? That's what my 100 day agenda is doing to me. I am trying to keep as many commitments to myself as possible. But bad habits are really really hard to scrub off, so I had to struggle for most of it. However, I guess I am getting there.

I was sluggish and tired the whole of today. I guess yesterday's efforts got me. I always prided myself being a hard worker when I worked. But I am sure this is age - I am almost old now, though I want to deny it as much as I can - and I do feel this when I am off-routine.

I indeed am off-routine. I am sure I have sleep deprivation to start with. But also long hours of working in front of the computer is getting me. I had a terrible headache most of today - which led me to drink coffee, something I rarely ever do. I am a tea-man, out and out, and pride myself of my colonial heritage. But today, my mild colonial self was not enough to overcome the tiredness from yesterday, so I had to inject a high dosage of caffeine to remain awake.

Did I work much today? I definitely did not do what I intended to do. I am terribly behind schedule on writing the web content for our site, and I keep postponing it every day. However, I did work - on budgets etc [how much I hate that], established a few new contacts, spent an hour talking about a business opportunity [I haven't given up on being an entrepreneur yet] and also made up my mind on committing another year to what I am doing.

This was something which was bugging me for a while. I am obviously not satisfied the way I am treated, my work is treated in the company. But it is possibly that stage in my career when I should not walk out in the first sight of a difficulty. This is possibly my key mistake as an employee. I am good - committed, honest, intelligent and entrepreneurial - but my key problem is that I know that. I know that I can survive anywhere, and my skills, since I am multi-skilled like a true Gemini, a Jack, will be in demand in some form. So, everytime I am disappointed, I walked out. This has gotten me nowhere I must add. It is important for me to keep the faith in myself for once and see things till the end.

This will take a bit of effort, indeed. First of all, it is impossible for me to run this business from London. I got to be either in Northern Ireland, or in India. I shall choose Northern Ireland at this time. This will be a huge change, but I guess I have no choice, unless I decide to leave. And, I have decided not to leave, to give this job at least another year whatever the costs may be. If my focus is changing one thing, this is certainly it.

No comments:

Popular Posts

Last Words

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.

- T S Eliot

Creative Commons License

AddThis